optimum gets connecticut

One of the things that bugs me about working in advertising is that everyone thinks that they are really easy to do and always wants to comment on them, pitch me ideas and otherwise give me advice and consent on what I do.

I don’t comment on Ginsberg’s opinion in US v Virginia to my lawyer friends. I don’t give investment advice to my financier friends (though maybe I should have to my previously-at-Bear-Stearns buddy). And I certainly don’t write pithy emails making fun of famous surgeons and how they perform surgery to my doctor friend based on having seen a few episodes of ER.

I don’t do this because I don’t know what the shit I am talking about.

Which is true about people who don’t know commenting on advertising…usually.

An attorney friend of mine – who will likely get an informed brief from me on US v Virginia just to show him up – emailed me a rant today about an ad he saw while watching the Yankees last night at his swanky bachelor pad in southern Connecticut. And it was pretty funny. So I am going to post it in full:

I couldn’t find the clip online (which is surprising, because the commercial airs literally every two seconds on ALL local broadcasts of anything), but there is a bizarre new Optimum Online TV spot that just has a relatively handsome dude standing in a totally blank backdrop talking about how awesome Optimum is.

There is a campaign that features the handsome dude and within that campaign a spot that is specifically for their internet service and is directed at Connecticut customers.

The handsome dude promises that Optimum Online is “5 times faster than that phone internet service.” That’s fine. It is pretty much common knowledge that telephones give you Lupus, so it’s not surprising that they would screw up your Google searching too. Stupid phones. But here’s where the new ad takes a new turn, a turn that I can’t decide whether it makes Optimum awesome or just a huge dick.

The handsome dude finishes his fictional-statistics schpiel and then snarkily jabs (paraphrasing), “Obviously Connecticut knows that one place where going faster is better is on the internet. What state wouldn’t want that…….? North Dakota, probably. Pshaww…”

Sooooo true. People in Connecticut LOVE mocking other states. They get off on that shit. In fact, every household in Greenwich just bought a separate internet connection for every room in the house to remind themselves how much they rule and how much people in North Dakota suck.

Optimum might have erred in their hubris, though.

I doubt they accounted for the business they would lose in SOUTH Dakota as well as the mocked and scorned North, because people in South Dakota are stupid and might not realize that only North Dakota was being singled out as being stupid, which they clearly are (I mean, did you hear that those people don’t even like to go fast on the internet?? They have problems).

So, in favor of Optimum being awesome: they like to rip on states other than Connecticut, thus breaking through and connecting with the target. And, the ad clearly prompted everyone in Greenwich to buy multiple internet connections, thus driving sales

In favor of Optimum being dicks: North and South Dakota

I report, you decide.

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7 responses to “optimum gets connecticut

  1. It’s just like that Family Guy episode:

    Guy in the audience: “Connecticut?!? That’s where I live! I can identify with that!”

  2. Maggie Jacobs

    The Dakota’s are the butt of many a pop culture joke… whether its the weather, the slower pace, the accents, the country music, or in this case the lack of fast internet (weak, but whatevs), there are a plethora of options. Due to this, my belief is that the people that live there are used to it. Having been a time or two, the responses I’ve heard are typically something about about ‘oh, it just keeps out the riff raff’ or, ‘they’re just not smart enough to come up with anything else’.

    Slip up? Meh, the Dakota’s can handle it. Just makes Optimum look unoriginal. I mean a state that has the claims to have the largest collection of outdoor animal sculptures in the world to attract tourism has to have a sense of humor, right? http://www.realnd.com/giantsofnd.htm

  3. BlakeDriveGirl

    Here is the thing with Optimum and (basically) the whole northeast region that they serve: they have a sick monopoly that goes beyond the ‘gold coast’ walls of rich Greenwich households. Let’s not forget those multifamily houses in Bridgeport or areas of South Norwalk that are trying hard to make ends meet, but have multiple phone lines and internet connections through Optimum. My god, what choice is there? None! Either you go with slow-ass Verizon DSL or Optiumum cable internet for $49.99 per month plus tax, fees, surcharge, government surcharge, CT surcharge, city surcharge etc. There really is no choice in the matter for cable internet (or cable TV) and anyone outside of the swanky Rowayton or Darien Tea-Partay crowd (Smirnoff anyone?) has to suck it up and shell out. If they continue to bombard their OWN airwaves with these sorts of commercials, isn’t already hitting the audience that subscribes to the services anyhow? (Again, they are the only provider in Southern CT). So really, Optimum is wasting their money and bad North Dakota jokes on an audience that really doesn’t care! PS- there is a great Optimum ad aimed at the Hispanic market playing on the airwaves around Southern CT/Ny Metro that is absolutely hideous…there is a guy in a water dragon suit (yup, you heard it right) and 3 mermaids singing along to the jingle. Check it out!

  4. BlakeDriveGirl:
    Is that the ad where the guy in the water dragon suit is singing something resembling reggae about Optimum’s service/product line?? Although I might be getting that commercial confused with the 873,297 TV spots for McDonald’s that involves hip, young urbanites rapping about Big Macs.

    Daily (ad) Biz:
    Track down that Optimum/water dragon ad, watch it, and the re-read the first paragraph of your entry above.

  5. Could it be that people think they can do what we do because so many of us actually doing it are doing it badly?

  6. Pingback: the new york times discovers women bloggers « the daily (ad) biz

  7. Why the hell are they targeting Hispanic and specifically Puerto Rican people? Whats, just because we’re minorities we watched a lot of T.V? Fucking advertising dildos.

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