Tag Archives: the pretty ae

chance meeting with the pretty ae

I haven’t written about The Pretty AE for a while for two main reasons. First, she started seeing someone who wasn’t me. Second, it made sense to stay away from personal and intra-office details what with most people at the office knowing that I write this blog.

However…she has recently left the House of Biz and I just a little more recently ran into her while grabbing a bagel and she looked fantastic in a summery little dress and holding her coffee. She is still with that guy for all I know, but luckily does not work in the same office anymore which I think means that I don’t have to every worry about sexual harassment claims against me for writing about how much I like her.

This morning’s meeting reminded me of the inescapable fact that if she looked at me and counted down from three I would do whatever she asked.

status quo with the pretty ae

The new boyfriend of The Pretty AE met us out last night. We had clients in the office yesterday and then had post-meetings dinner before retiring, agency-folks only, to our local…only to find that The Pretty AE and her new beau were already there.

He is actually a nice enough guy and not bad looking. He’s just not particularly sharp.

I would have though that wit and charm and personality would have appealed to The Pretty AE – perhaps in the hopes that my own average looks would not have been a stumbling block – but apparently she is willing to accept less that top drawer in that department. He is pretty good looking, in sort of a New England semi-disheveled preppy way (whereas I am rangy and plain and interestingly dissolute).

I think about how he ended up with The Pretty AE and can only put it down to luck…but not plain luck, rather the luck usually ascribed to fools and drunkards: unearned, unjustified, inexplicable luck.

And good looks.

sitting next to the pretty ae

I know that recent posts have been unusually negative. By all accounts, especially my own, I am a positive guy who brings a little ray of sunlight into the lives of my coworkers and friends so it has been unusual to have the balance of posts with the tone and content that they had. Why was this the case? I cannot tell a lie…

Bob Garfield did it.

Ha ha! I’m here all week. In all seriousness, the blame is to be laid at the foot of my subliminal disappointment with The Pretty AE…more specifically, with the fact that The Pretty AE is dating someone else. It’s a frustrating situation.

The worst part is that, with the football season gone, I have lost the easiest way to get her to hang out with me. I have never gotten more from a sport, not even when I was in high school and wearing the crap out of my letter jacket in the hope that the girls would notice.

And, to make it worse, I am being moved so I sit right next to her.

If I overhear any lovey-dovey conversations with the new guy I might actually throw up on my keyboard. Or at least on the floor next to my desk.

no joy in mudville

The bad news is that The Pretty AE is seeing someone else…the good news is that I have any number of well thought out and considered reasons in my head for why it never would have worked with her anyway and how I am happier that it didn’t. I can talk myself into and out of just about anything.

It does help that a semi-friend of mine spent all last night at the soccer game I played in talking about the impossibility of breaking up with his co-worker girlfriend. This was a disaster from the beginning, as things usually are when one falls into them accidentally. But apparently this girl is a little crazy and the guy is interested in keeping his current job and overall career firmly on the road to success and he doesn’t want to rock the boat.

So he is trying to get her to find a job in another city.

I am disappointed about the current state of The Pretty AE situation, but it could be worse. It could always be worse. Especially in advertising.

And I didn’t want to date a co-worker anyway.

a staggering action of heartbreaking outcome

Saturday night in Chelsea a group of my friends and I ran across The Pretty AE and a group of her friends…it was unplanned and serendipitous and, emboldened by all of the reader comments, I figured that there was no better time than the present to see if I couldn’t break things out of the unrequited stage.

While the chance meeting was a nice beginning, the initial conversation very quickly went pear shaped: The Pretty AE has started seeing someone else.

But, figuring that I had come this far, I wasn’t about to just let it be and walk away (I had also had a few to drink…I am Dutch myself which, I suspect, makes Dutch courage all the more potent). So I did the only thing that I could think to do:

I kissed her.

Much like the video clip, she seemed fairly receptive…but still attached. The kiss ended at the kiss and, while I tried to awkwardly tell her…to tell her…something about how I felt and had felt and she made me feel and all that sort of dry and uninteresting talk that one hopes is a prelude to something more (or at least another kiss), she said that she was dating someone, couldn’t do it and walked off.

The story then takes a turn for the macabre.

We were supposed to meet up to watch the Giants game on Sunday and, despite what had happened, The Pretty AE hadn’t cancelled. But then she didn’t show…after inquiries, I found that it was because her grandmother had died. A terrible loss. So she had left for her parents’ home in Massachusetts, leaving the second chapter (read: the awkwardly pretending that what had happened hadn’t really happened chapter) all still to be written.

You never know. Jim did end up with Pam in the end.

horrifying rumor about the pretty ae

The big presentation that we got all pumped up about yesterday went really well…which means that I am pretty hung over today from celebrating (I drank like Agency Tart and had some vodka with my Russian co-worker…with predictable consequences).

Adding to the pain of the hangover is the current rumor floating around that The Pretty AE, heretofore unattached and at least marginally interested in hanging out with me once in a while (while I secretly lust after her), may be dating someone.


We, and some friends, are watching her beloved Patriots on Sunday down at the local and I plan to get to the bottom of this.

Whether I want to know the answer or not.

working out is good but the equinox ads are better

Through a cruel twist of fate, I have gotten an offer for the job opportunity that I have been salivating over for some time but accepting said job would mean that I would have to leave my current comfortable situation at this office of the House of Biz.

As I think about it, a change of scenery wouldn’t be all bad…especially to get away from all of the good looking and well-off guys in New York. They are really blowing up my spot.

The new Equinox campaign from the self-coined “back and better than ever!” Fallon only reinforces the fact that I have become estranged from muscle (sure, I haven’t technically gained any weight, but my former muscle is now fat and I work too much to hit the gym regularly) and until I repair said relationship I have no hope of being painted by nuns, fawned over by bikini gals or invited to weird Great Expectations-esque parties:


Equinox is high-end enough and people are vain enough to be attracted by these ads, but I am clearly not the target nor am I particularly impressed.

I do like how the campaign is a clear departure from the typical gym advertising that I see (which anyway tends to be more promotional and empowering, neither of which are differentiating, interesting or brand-building) and have that fashion-magazine feel which makes Equinox seem more of a brand to align with than a club to join.

If I looked like one of the male models in these ads, I suspect that I would be able to nab The Pretty AE or, since she doesn’t seem to be all that into me, some other pretty lady with considerably more ease than has been the case to date.

I don’t look like one of them and even if I joined Equinox, got a personal trainer and stopped working so much I still wouldn’t. So much for making a date easier to find. But thank the lord that Fallon didn’t try to use “real people.

“Who wants to look at “real people” anyway?

laying siege to the pretty ae’s desk

It is tough to be back in the office today…I am sort of walking around in a daze (thinking to myself just how attractive The Pretty AE is in her new plaid skirt) not doing much of anything so far.

Luckily, I have a little desk toy that a friend got me for Christmas to remember my vacation by:


That’s right, it is a desk catapult. It even comes with ammunition.

I plan to lay siege to The Pretty AE’s desk and, once inside the ramparts (that sounds more forward than I mean it)…I will likely just talk to her politely about her holiday and tell her – sort of red-faced because it’s hard to tell how appropriate it is, especially in an office – how nice she looks today. Following a nice chat, I will pack up my desk catapult, go back to my desk and start shooting paper clips at people who walk by.

I need a vacation.

another drink with the pretty ae

The past few days have seen The Pretty AE being very friendly with a Senior Art Director who happens to be an inch taller and about fifty pounds more muscley than I. It was not a good sign. Coupled with the server going down and all of this work coming through, I read the omens as even worse than I would normally.

And then The Pretty AE just asked me if I wanted to go and get a drink.

Of course, she could have asked because she wants to tell me how she has the hots for this Senior Art Director or, most appallingly, that she is with him and doesn’t know how to tell people. But that optimistic part of me wants to believe that she asked me because flirting with the other guy has shown her just how lame everyone else is compared to me and that there is nobody else she would rather get a drink with.

And really, why wouldn’t she be enamored of me, a man who lives off of writing headlines, pale and thin and interestingly verbose?

my pretty ae obsession is a good thing

In further news about the Holiday Party, nothing happened between The Pretty AE and me…which is a good thing because, since it was a work function, I am not all that sure that we could have pulled it off and kept our dignity. Though, since this is advertising, we would have at least had our jobs.

Any day now I am going to bare my soul to her and tell her how I have been feeling, but in the meantime, it’s still a lot of fun to hang out with her and to have someone at work to flirt with.

This little semi-romance thing may even be healthy. As the new (to me) blog Dear Jane Sample puts it:

“Flirting at work makes work pleasant. It gives you something to look forward to each morning and its just plain fun! The exchange of those flirty emails and msn messages through out the day just makes the day go by. It will also motivate you to dress decently for work.”

All true…except probably that last part.

They always say that you should dress for the job you want to have and, since I would like to be a Creative Director one day, inappropriate-for-any-other-office attire is the name of my game. I won’t go as far as some who wear Crocs (I don’t care how comfortable they are, you still look like a muppet) and ride around on scooters in the office (if we were in grade school I would beat these people up – just walk the ten yards asshole), but I will go to great lengths to make sure that I am wearing the same style of shoe that I wore in high school, my jeans are branded and that my shirt is never, ever tucked in.

Unless I am trying to be ironic.

Back to the matter at hand, Dear Jane does caveat her pro-flirting message:

“Be warned though, once you move to that next level the light-heartiness of the situation is replaced by some major drama. Which is less fun, as it usually results in gossip about you at work, crying, sulking and jealousy.”

Though that could be the case…though, as I imagine things with The Pretty AE, once they move to the next level the light-heartedness of the situation will be replaced by a passion-swept love of epic proportions that results in us both finding true love and complete satisfaction in life.

Advertising is about selling aspiration, right? Well, I’m sold on it.